i don't like sucking hair
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
