I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
