Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
