I should be sponsored by Trojan
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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