So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
