we're chasing vodka with high fives
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Randomize
