M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
bring money and cleavage
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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