Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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