I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
