it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
