This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
