No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
