Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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