Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
