Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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