What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
MIDGETS
????
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
