I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
