Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My liver just broke up with me...
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize