so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
