Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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