am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
This is my gift to your gina
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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