I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Everyone says I win the strip club
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
