mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
