I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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