I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
