Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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