Having a random hookup so left but love u
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
