Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
