I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
