she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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