My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize