This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
