i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I have tasted many bathrooms
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
