Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
