We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
