Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She needs sedatives and a leash
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize