I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
