I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize