I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
