On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
