is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
