Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
