im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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