So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize