please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I wish you could order shots online.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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