The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I have already put on my inside pants.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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