New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
