Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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