I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
