worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
