I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
