Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
