ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
