Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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