i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
