Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I wear drunk well.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
