What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize